batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
