Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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