he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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