I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
