Can i not drive my cunt home
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
