I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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