Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have post one night stand depression
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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