Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
