told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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