I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
