After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
