You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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