She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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