I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
