I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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