ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Randomize
