it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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