I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
