So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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