Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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