this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
