Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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