He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
