sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
