So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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