party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize