sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
