Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
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the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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