You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
