Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
