ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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