You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
