I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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