do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
