made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
