I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
