I must be too annoying 4 u.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
