PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
