Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
