life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
