Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
