TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
