The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
