I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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