What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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