don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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