Please, let me fuck your mom
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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