I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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