i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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