love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
