ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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