i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I party with great urgency now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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