I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
