dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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