dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
