it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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