just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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