we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
