please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
where am i from again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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