singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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We're too hungover to prance.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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