Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
