she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize