he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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