I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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