I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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