dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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