that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
