You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
