Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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