There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
