it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
